Wednesday October 7, 1981

are afraid to come here because they think I might do or say something. She says
Michael won't come by with Constance because he's afraid of what I might say. I meant to say, after the note about the fight, that she is very paranoid. None of the things Michael imagines has ever happened. None of the other things people imagined have ever happened, as best I can recollect. It seems I am everybody's lightening rod. More Monday night - crazy with Simone and Linda. Linda gets pissed that I won't stay with her. Things are very bad for her. But I point out how she's managing them very well. She wants Nadine to move. But now she sees that she's been acting exactly like her father. She asks Sten to help them see the situation clearer. She stomps out. I am in bed with Simone. She wants to fuck. Nothing else will do. I've been impotent with her the last few days. She becomes aggressive and starts hurting my balls. I push her away. She gets insulted and stops out. She comes back and tries to force herself on me again. I just want to sleep. A long day. No desire for her. I get up and start to dress. She jumps up and starts hitting me. Tries to keep me from going. I force her to let go of me. She gets dressed fast and runs out ahead of me. I call Linda to see if she will let me stay with her. Yes, but I want to go to sleep soon, she firmly informs me. We get in bed. She immediately starts to seduce me. My impotence disappears. We fuck. She threatens suicide and mayhem if I don't. Linda is reading, apparently quite satisfied, and tells me to go to her. She needs you now, more than I do, she says. And honestly, it seems to me. Simone will come over, cause a scene, and ring the doorbell all night, if I don't return home. She calms down a little. Dana is there. He's with her. Will take care of her. Ok, she relents, but I want to stay with you tomorrow night. I agree. Linda and I talk about it. She becomes outraged. She attacks me. Tries to scratch and kick me in the balls. She's stronger than Simone and its hard for me to hold her back. She gives up. Its her father again. She knows it. A long cry. We cuddle. Start to play with each other. I masturbate her to a very strong orgasm. I'm horny again. Get her diaphragm. We fuck again. Three for her and two for me. We are exhausted. At last sleep. It must have been 3 or 4 in the morning. Eight am the phone rings. Its Simone telling me a customer is at the house. I leave and start the day.